Marriage-Spoilage or Salvage?

The Bible says that the institution of marriage is honourable in all. Marriage has been defined as a covenant of faith, and not a legal contract (Malachi 2:14). It was God who initiated the marriage between Adam and Eve. Jesus performed his first miracle in a wedding house. There is a wedding feast waiting for us in heaven where and when we will dine with our bridegroom Jesus. On the other hand, the first attack came upon the first family to usurp them from their heavenly bliss of marriage. From then on marriage was not always a bed of roses. There are more marriages that get spoilt even today. Can marriages be saved and be a “Heaven on Earth” experience?

Simultaneous Spoilers

Temptation to go wrong has come upon couples from the beginning like in the case of Adam and Eve. The first one and only commandment on obedience was given to Adam. We do not know at what level the communication went wrong between Adam and Eve. It could have been with the source-Adam or the receiver-Eve. Even while Eve was about to disobey, Adam was in her close vicinity only. However be the case, both disobeyed! Both failed to instruct one another! Disaster followed! (Genesis 2 & 3)

Ahab, an Israelite king has been credited with the following comment in history: There was never a man like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD, urged on by Jezebel his wife (1 Kings 21:25). Neither of the two was good enough to instruct the other spouse to stop injustice which  they together caused to an innocent citizen of their kingdom. Both Ahab and Jezebel faced gruesome deaths there after!

Ananias and Sapphira was a couple belonging to the early church. Their bond was so strong that they both said the same lie of keeping a part of the money which otherwise had to be given for the needs of the church.  They both had agreed together to test the Lord on this aspect. This led them to the tragic consequences of a death for both on the same day (Acts 5:1-11).

Saviour Spouses

There were occasions when one of the spouses was wise enough to stop an impending danger. Like in the case of Abigail, whose husband Nabal was surly and mean in his dealings with king David who was a fugitive then.  David became so furious of Nabal to the extent that he said, “Be it ever so severely if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!" But Abigail was an intelligent woman who could discern that her husband’s dealing with David was wrong. She acted smart by providing the mundane needs of the king! She later updated the developments to Nabal when he was in a sober mood. However Nabal died of a heart failure. But Abigail could save the lives of the rest of her male belongings. She was saved from her widowhood too, for David married her! (1 Samuel 25)

In the case of Job, he and his wife suffered one disaster after the other. Losing children and property all together was not an easy situation for this couple to handle! Job had an added agony unlike his wife. He He Hwas inflicted with sore boils from head to toe! Job’s wife lost patience and finally yelled, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!” Job was wise enough in not doing that. After a short period of adversity in their lives, the couple was blessed with prosperity again. What would have happened if Job would have succumbed to the pressures of his wife to curse God and die?

Hosea in the Bible had the most troublesome marriage with his wife Gomer! After knowing about Gomer’s adulterous relationship, Hosea still married her! Hosea found that the third child she bore was not his. Still he provided the needs of Gomer which her lovers also availed! (Hosea 2:8) The climax was: Gomer was sold as a slave by one of her lovers! Hosea still went to the extent of redeeming her by buying her! (Hosea 3:2) The world may term a person like Hosea a “fool,” but in a marriage with God’s help one can be as forgiving and loving like Hosea! If Hosea had not reflected God’s love with his wife Gomer, their marriage would have been ruined! The message of the real story of the book of Hosea in the Bible is that God loves the unfaithful ones like Gomer, provides their needs and redeems them from the bondage of sin! To redeem us, Jesus bought us with a costly price by giving His life on the cross! There is hope for a hopeless marriage because the resurrected Jesus gives hope of every kind to those who believe in Him!

There is always hope for all, even for couples who simultaneously spoil their marriages. At the most there can be “one” saviour among the two who can work through the grace of God to save their marriage. All one has to do for this to happen is to be a child of God to showforth His characters! John 1:12 says “All who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” No wonder, children of the living God imbibe wisdom, love, and forgiveness from their heavenly father to save their marriages! Yes, marriages can be a Heaven on Earth experience! Why Not?

Two Shall be One

“Two shall be One” is what God says about marriage in the Bible. The smallest team, yet the strongest team could be a husband and a wife-team when they are united. Again this team can be united in either constructive or destructive jobs! The Bible tells about different types of husband-wife-teams who were involved in either of these! I would high light on a few constructively united couples.

Tasting God Together

There was Andronicus and Junias who has been certified as an outstanding couple among the missionaries in the early church (Romans 17:6). Historical reconstruction of this couple suggests that they are the same couple as was mentioned by Luke with a different set of names in Luke 8:3. Luke calls them as Joanna and her husband Cuza, the manager of Herod’s household. He mentions them as supporters of the ministry of Jesus out of their means. As was usual with Jews living at that time, Cuza had an alternate Greek name, Andronicus. Joanna had a Latin name, Junias. They had accepted Jesus as their Lord even before Paul, the well-known missionary did. They were relatives of him too. They were in prison with Paul for the cause of Jesus Christ. A couple who have tasted their salvation experience in Jesus would for sure reciprocate their love to God by serving him together!

God wants families to realise the need of His goodness. The Bible tells: “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8). A jailer in the city of Philippi once asked Paul, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” More than the individual’s joy of salvation, God’s expectation to that jailer was: “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” (Acts 16:30-31). Blessed are couples who have tasted the joy of the Lord in their lives. They will not mind serving the Lord together after tasting the goodness of Him!

Tied with God Together

Luke 10:1 has a mention of the seventy-two disciples of Jesus sent two by two. The two’s team could have very well included husband-wife-teams such as Clopas and Mary. The Mary about whom we read about in John 19:25 is the wife of Clopas. It is said that Clopas was the brother of Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus. Some biblical scholars believe that this Clopas was the same one mentioned as Cleopas in Luke 24:18. The other unnamed disciple in that passage could be his wife Mary! The resurrected Jesus led Clopas and Mary to a deeper spiritual experience as they were walking on the road to Emmaus.  Jesus went to their house thereafter and had dinner with them!

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” The analogy of the unity of three cords can be well applied to a husband and wife who have God as the head of the home they make! Couples need to give space to God in their daily schedule! Reading and meditating the Word of God together and praying together and going to church together, obeying the word of God are some means whereby a couple tie themselves to God!  This would help a couple to have deeper spiritual experiences and lead them to grow spiritually! They will serve the Lord united, as His representatives!

Serving God Together

There was another couple named Aquila and Priscilla in the early church who are my all-time favourite! They have been mentioned six times in the Bible with their names glued to each other always!  Aquila’s names precedes thrice (Acts 18:2, 26, 1 Corinthians 16:19) and Priscilla’s thrice! (Acts 18:18, Romans 16:3, 2 Timothy 4:19) They jointly had theological training from Paul while they were doing their tent-making business in a joint venture with him. They were well-versed in interpreting scriptures to the extent that they were able to teach Apollos, a learned man of that time. A Scriptural search about this couple shows that they had shifted their dwelling places frequently. They started their lives in Rome and then moved to Corinth and then to Ephesus and then to Rome and Ephesus again. It looks like this couple did not have a child too.  But this couple used the seemingly adverse situations to the glory of God. They opened their houses as “house churches” in the cities of their dwelling! (1 Corinthians 16:19, Romans 16:4-6). Paul appreciates them as fellow workers in the spread of the good news about Jesus Christ. He says that they had risked their lives for Paul. They served the gentile churches all over in that period (Romans 16:3-4). A couple who have tasted the love of God, tied themselves with Him would represent that God wherever they are, although their lives!

Joshua who served the Lord when he was a young lad could say this at the end of his life. “As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."(Joshua 24:15).  It is a joy to serve the Lord all through our life span. There is no retirement for families who are in the service of God! No amount of adversity can stop a family from serving Him! Because the husband and the wife are in flesh and spirit the possession of God! It is God who bonds the Two as One!  (Malachi 2:15) 

What does Frustration Lead Me to?

Frustration is normal in a good human being. But what does frustration lead you to? When can frustration be abnormal?

Frustration should not lead me to long for a death! (1 Kings 19:1-18)

Elijah was a man who powerfully demonstrated the power of Yahweh, the God of the Bible. A man who proved himself to be a “hero” the previous day felt that he was a “zero” the next day. He could not trust that, the same God who empowered him in the previous incidents in his life would protect him from the hands of Jezebel, the wicked queen. Sadly, he prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors."

The reason for his frustration was a misconception of a reality! Elijah felt that he was the “only one” available for the job of a prophet! Because he was a true follower of Yahweh until then, God graciously manifested his presence and guided him and dispelled him from his cranky idea! God told him not to wish for a death because he had a long way to go after that encounter! He gave him the providence of food to strengthen his body and a spiritual encounter to strengthen his soul!

How often we pray against the will of God, after tasting the goodness of God in our lives!  Is the frustration in my life due to some misconception thinking that I am the “only” one available for the job! I need the wisdom of God to dispel myself of that. In the plan of God none of us are indispensable! In Elijah’s case there were 7000 other prophets available for his job!  I also should know that I have a long way to go! A prayer to end my life curtails me of the very purpose of my life on earth! In times of frustration, turn to God for He will strengthen you physically and spiritually!

Frustration should not lead me to a harsh talk! (Malachi 3: 13-18)

A remnant of the post-exilic community of Israel after their hardships at Babylon was graciously brought back to their land by the intervention of God. A group of people who had served God and carried out his requirements were hasty enough to see an imminent judgement for the evil doers. Their frustration led to a harsh talk against God! To them God said, “You have said harsh things against me,"  "Yet you ask, 'What have we said against you?' "You have said, 'It is futile to serve God. What did we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the Lord Almighty? But now we call the arrogant blessed. Certainly the evildoers prosper, and even those who challenge God escape.” 

Another group who equally was affected by the evil doers in the same time, instead of turning hostile, continued to fear God. They found joy in fellowshipping with like-minded people and talked matters that honoured God! The LORD listened and heard their conversation. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning this faithful group! The faithful ones are a group who wait for the justice of God! Those who cannot wait for God to do justice end up in a harsh talk! We have a God who hears us and looks for our faithfulness in waiting for Him to act! In times of frustration, turn to fellowshipping with people who fear God in their lives for an attitudinal change to happen in your life!

Frustration should not rule my life! (Psalm 73)

 Asaph, a Levite and a singer served in Jerusalem for all of David's reign. He gave music to many of the songs that David wrote. He lived through David’s son Solomon’s reign too. After a promising beginning, Solomon turned his back on God and pursued power, wealth, luxury, and human wisdom, as well as worship of other gods. To finance these pursuits the people were oppressed with slavery and taxes. Asaph saw Solomon become a wicked man. It is also believed that Asaph's brother Zechariah was assassinated in the temple by Solomon's agents.  After Solomon's death, Asaph, then a very old man saw David's kingdom torn into two. The northern kingdom rejected the Levites and the temple. Many of Asaph's relatives who served in the temple as musicians perished in a kingdom where there was no reverence for God.

(Read more about Asaph at: http://www.hfbcbiblestudy.org/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=482 )

Who would not be frustrated in a situation where one finds leaders failing from their commitments, ruthless killing of their own blood related brothers and relatives? With pain in his heart Asaph penned the psalm. He progressively pours out verses of frustration of all kinds.  It gets to its peak in the following verses: “Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.  All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning.” (V.13-14)

Venting out feelings in a poem can only give a partial healing from frustration. As a faithful follower of God, Asaph, however did not conclude his song with a wrong note. He says that he would have betrayed his children if he had propagated this message around. He found that the systems of the world were oppressive “until” he went to the sanctuary of the Lord. He got to understand the eternal destiny of people of different kinds. He got confident of the fact that those who were away from God will perish eternally. But Asaph in spite of the oppressive factors in his life chose to remain close to God for it is He who would guide him with His counsel and take him to eternal glory! In times of frustration, turn to the Bible or go to a church and get to know the Word of God which will help widen your thinking to see things beyond your present level of frustration!

REMAINING IN FRUSTRATION RUINS LIFE! IT IS GOD WHO HEALS US FROM FRUSTRATION RULING OUR LIVES!