Families and the Cross

Recently I saw a status message in the face book which said, “What would one call a parent who lost a child?” One good thing, our society has done is not to brand them by a name, unlike other tags like widow, orphan etc.  Mary, when she happened to see life ebbing away from her dear son cried miserably. Jesus cared for her crying. It happened with Hagar and her dying son Ishamel. Rizpah in the  Old Testament did not allow the birds of the air touch the dead bodies of her sons, Armoni and Mephibosheth. It is extremely painful for a parent to bear the death of their child.  And if at all anyone can understand the pain of a bereavement of a child, it is Jesus. He understands any other issues families undergo as well and cared for them.

Jesus’ hands and legs were nailed to the cross. He could not embrace Mary. Neither could Mary do that.  It was then, Jesus murmurs these words that show the depth of his responsibility, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And to John, his disciple he said, “Here is your mother.” (John 19:26-27).  The only commandment of the ten that comes with a promise is this: “Honour your father and mother” (Ephesians 6:2). None of us ever can shun from our responsibility towards our parents giving lame excuses. 

A pain that Mary had to undergo ever after Jesus started his ministry after the wilderness experience was to admire her son from a distance.  There are many parents even today who just have to painfully admire their children from a distance.  Education, marriage and careers separate them from their children. In Indian mission field, I have seen missionary parents living in less-privileged, culturally distant places sending their kids to boarding schools like the one in Dohnavur. They find these schools better than a place in Jharkhand in which malaria attacks them on an of average of nearly fifty times in their life time. This is a relative situation Jesus speaks about in Matthew 19:29 which says : "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life”.  Pain in families due to separation for a worthy cause pays dividends.

And why did Jesus call his mother as “woman” and why did he hand over her to “John” instead of his own brothers? The cross is also a place, where we learn about a “family” which has a different definition altogether. Jesus asked, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." (Matthew 12:48-50). He had called his disciples as brothers elsewhere too (John 20:17). Jesus’ own brothers were not yet believers, according to John 7:5. Neither were they in the vicinity of the cross. So the definition of a family for a believer in Christ is wide and deep.

The new definition of family leads me to the following beliefs which I aspire to practice in life: As a believer, I belong to the family of Jesus, in which I, with my fellow brothers and sisters call him “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15). I would care both for my biological family and for my God-given spiritual families. I believe that adoption of kids is biblical. I also believe that my Christian faith has no allowance for differences based on caste, gender and race. 

I am happy to be a part of the family of God which promotes such values. These values are a natural outcome to people who have their salvation experience in Jesus Christ. I invite you to the cross of Jesus Christ and to taste the love of Jesus who cares for you and your family.