An Uncommon Union between the Edwards

In days when marriages tend to be cold and formal, here is a brief note of a marriage that was warm and friendly.  Jonathan Edwards besides being a revivalist and a theologian, was also one of the greatest philosophers, America has ever produced. “A sweeter couple I have not yet seen”.  That was what evangelist George Whitefield of England wrote regarding Jonathan and his wife, Sarah Edwards. He was so impressed with the Edwards’ household that he resolved to get married after returning from their house. Writer Samuel Hopkins had an admiration for the “perfect harmony and mutual love and esteem that subsisted between the couple." One visitor to their home, Joseph Emerson commented: “The most agreeable family I was ever acquainted with. Much of the presence of God is here.”

But can you believe that Elisabeth D. Dodds called her book on Sarah Edwards as, “Marriage to a Difficult Man”. Lost in his own world, impractical and moody, Jonathan Edwards must have been a difficult person to live with. It takes two to make a good marriage. Sarah was seven years younger than Jonathan and totally unlike him.  He was moody. She was vibrant. He was shy. She was outgoing. He was socially inept. She was a natural conversationalist. He was gawky. She was graceful.  Both Jonathan and Sarah spent time making it work.  They learnt to live with each other. Jonathan enjoyed Sarah’s companionship.  So, about four o’clock in the afternoon, they often went horse-back riding together. At such times he would discuss ideas with her and hash over parish problems. Late at night, when the children were tucked in bed, Sarah and Jonathan would share a devotional time together.

The couple had eleven children in their 31 years of marriage. Sarah was of the opinion that until a child will obey his parents, he can never be brought to obey God. She knew how to make them regard and obey her cheerfully, without loud, angry words and much less heavy blows. Though Jonathan was a stern and busy preacher, he set aside to spend  an hour daily with his children. He said, “Every family ought to be a little church, consecrated to Christ and wholly influenced and governed by his rules”.

Jonathan had a principle not to accept all invitations to ministry, that came his way. Some he turned down saying, “I have lately been so much gone from my people.” Yet, Sarah had struggles of instability. She didn’t like it when her husband was away from home so much. But, she knew she couldn’t ask him to stay with her. She knew God was using her husband, wherever he went. Most of his life, Jonathan had bouts with headaches, colitis, and moodiness. Sickness, failures were ever present in the lives of this couple. They went through both, times of prosperity and adversity in ministry.

The final office, Jonathan held as President of Princeton University lasted only a few weeks. He was stricken with small pox, and as he lay dying, he talked much about his wife and children: “The uncommon union that has long subsisted between me and Sarah has been of a spiritual nature and therefore will continue forever. My children, you are now likely to be left fatherless, which I hope will be an inducement to seek a Father who will never fail you.” Sarah’s favourite verse came to mean much more to her at this time: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...neither death nor life…nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God.” (Romans 8:35-39) Six months later, she became ill with dysentery and she died at the age of forty-eight. Indeed, it was an uncommon union as Jonathan had said at his death bed.

As companions together they took time for each other and made their marriage a success. They enjoyed each other’s companionship and respected each other’s gifts. Biographers tend to praise Sarah for making the marriage successful. They may be right. But, Jonathan too shared his ministry with Sarah and gave her a larger role than many women of that time enjoyed.

A study of 1,400 descendants of the Edwards home says that this uncommon household produced 13 College Presidents, 65 Professors, 100 Lawyers, 30 Judges, 66 Physicians and 80 holders of public office including 3 Senators, 3 Governors, and a Vice President of the United States. I consider this fact file as a fulfillment of a verse from the Bible:  From everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children (Psalm 103:17). May we work on the aspect of ‘uncommon union’ in marriages and pass the bliss of marriage to our children’s children like how the Edwards did.




(I have copied lines from William J. Petersen’s “Martin Luther Had a Wife” for this article.)