I have always had mixed
feelings whenever I read about this mysterious woman portrayed in Proverbs 31.
Feelings of anger, guilt, pride, and inadequacy filled me until I found that
she was just the ideal woman and a goal towards which women try moving. A goal
and ideal can be a catalyst and not a condemnation. "A good woman is hard
to find and worth for more than diamonds.” (Proverbs 31:10) Why?
1.
Our good woman was a WISE WOMAN:
Our good woman speaks with wisdom, and
faithful instruction is on her tongue. Woman
& Wisdom look like synonyms in the book of Proverbs in many places. Compare:
“He who finds a wife finds a good
thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22) and “For whoever
finds me (wisdom) finds life, and
obtains favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 8:35) In the book of Proverbs, wisdom is extensively portrayed as a woman
giving instruction to those who are willing to learn (chapter 3, 9 and so on).
Wise women have a special mention in the Bible. There were three resourceful
women Jochebed, Miriam and the Pharaoh’s daughter who jointly saved the life of
Moses. They wisely worked against a wicked scheme. I have always admired Rahab
as a wise woman. It would not be an exaggeration, if I say that, she read the
newspaper of the day with discretion. She acted wisely against her own king and
his soldiers who were set out against the Yahweh-people. Abigail in1 Samuel
25:3-35 was a woman who acted with discretion and prevented an impending danger
that was about to come upon her and her entire household. Abigail had to work
against her own wicked husband Nabal. The wise woman at Tekoa mentioned in 2
Samuel 14:2-23 had the courage to talk to king Saul to intercede for the life
of the king’s own son Absalom. She risked her life. The people of Israel came
up to this woman - Deborah for judgment (Judges 4). In the same story Jael
outwitted and slew Israel’s enemy commander Sisera. Queen Esther devised and
executed a beautiful plan to save the whole of the Jewish nation against the
schemes of the wicked Haman. Being wise
involves risk. Years ago, a woman in Bangalore had to stand against her own
husband’s wicked scheme to abort the girl baby they conceived. This woman
wisely and lovingly overcame the situation and gave birth to the girl baby.
Today the world is admiring her as a great pianist.
But interestingly there are also quotes on woman being
foolish mentioned in the Bible. “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own
hands the foolish one tears hers down.”(Proverbs 14:1). Among the ten virgins,
five were wise. Five were foolish.
If there is a lady wisdom there is also a lady folly
mentioned in chapter 5, 6, 7 and 9. There are women who talk foolish like our
mom Eve, who threw pearls
before pig. Women are precious pearls. The crown of God’s creation. The
princesses of the king of kings. Why then we need to waste time explaining to
someone who would not appreciate our value? That was Eve’s problem who spent
time arguing with Satan. Only one word would have done the job for Eve and that
has just two letters - “NO.” It is not too late for senior women and young
girls to decide to cut-off our conversation with sinful people with a “NO.”
Women need to say that in Facebook chats and phone chats with ungodly people.
2. Our good woman was a WOMAN of CHARACTER.
Someone said, “Our reputation is what others think we are,
but our character is what our family knows we are.” Our good woman’s husband
said, “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Her children call
her, “Blessed.” People also praise her at the city gate. Her husband has full confidence in her. Ruth goes close to Proverbs 31 woman in this regard.
The certificate to Ruth’s character is this: "This kindness is greater than
that which you showed earlier. You have not run after the younger men, whether
rich or poor.” Boaz described Ruth as a noble woman. (Ruth 3:10&11) Ruth earned her character
and reputation in an adverse situation when she was a young widow. She built
the home of her dead husband, getting married to the proper heir of the family.
She entered into the privileged genealogy of Jesus Christ.
There was a Dinah in the biblical history who lost her
virginity before marriage by her foolishness. Her story ends in the loss of
many lives bringing foul smell instead of fragrance to her family and to the name
of Yahweh. Potiphars wife, Delilah, Bathseba are noted names for their
adulterous acts. Prophet Hosea’s wife Gomer continued to be unrepentant,
unfaithful adulteress even after her husband’s continual love and wooing. Herodias
had an adulterous relationship. She used her influence in a negative way which
was disastarous and ended in the loss of a precious life, John the Baptist. It is not merely the
sexual moral of a woman that makes up her character. Rebecca was a woman of high
moral character, I would say because they are the only famous couple of the Old
Testament who had a monogamous marriage. But her character went down slide when
she herself proved to be a crook and cheater in her later years. She taught her
son Jacob to lie and cheat. She had to pay a toll for her bad modelling. She
brought despair on her husband in his old years, rivalry between sons all through
their lives, created unpleasant mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship. Sometimes
we ourselves are reasons for our relationship problems. Her son Jacob continued
to be a cheater most part of his life. I would call Vasthi as a good character, though she
comes from a gentile context. I love her conviction and commitment for a cause.
She did not want to display her beauty before a bunch of drunkard men. She
stood for her conviction but had to loose her crown in that process. It is a
shame even today some times when we who call ourselves as Christian women lack character
of our own that we are forced to learn from women of other faith. Shamelessness
in the dressing styles of women is a sinful development in a city like
Bangalore where I live. Shame on us who raise the next generation in a
shameless culture!
3. Our good woman was a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Our Proverbs 31 woman may not have been outwardly beautiful
but she was inwardly beautiful. Charm is deceptive, Beauty is fleeting. But a
woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. A beautiful but a foolish woman is
compared this way: Like a
gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion
(Proverbs 11:22). Peter’s counsel to women is this: Your beauty should not come
from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery
and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth. Our ideal woman
was clothed with fine linen and purple, strength and dignity. Bible is not
against expensive clothing. But is that all in life? Interestingly, women and men in OT were praised for their outer
beautiful looks like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Bathsheba, Abigail and Esther. The
progressive theology of beauty in NT is that, women and men are no more praised
for their beauty but for their character. Jesus,
hanging on the cross has been described as one who had no beauty or majesty to
attract one to him. And there was nothing in his appearance that one should
desire him (Isaiah 53:2). Mary mother of
Jesus was one such inwardly– I think Jesus kept his mom Mary in mind when he
said, “Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.” She was not only
pure but she was obedient to the Lord’s call which came to her through the
angel. It would not be an exaggerating statement if we say that Jesus learnt the
attitude of obedience to his Father from his mom. Mary of Bethany was another
inwardly beautiful woman. For her learning God’s word preceded food. Her faith
level at Lazarus’ death was quite different from Martha, the food person. She
earned praise from Jesus anointed and kissed the feet of Jesus. It is people who look at the outward appearance, but
the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)
4. Our good woman was an INDEPENDENT WOMAN
She was a working woman, an industrious woman, a planner
and leader. She clarifies the fact that whether women working outside of
domestic domain are biblical. She
selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her
food from afar. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she
plants a vineyard. She sets about her
work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She
sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the
spindle with her fingers. She makes linen garments and sells them, and
supplies the merchants with sashes. She watches over the affairs of her
household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Work
is neither the result of fall nor a curse. Even before fall, both Adam and Eve
were given work to tend the garden. Deborah was a woman who worked outside her
home setting. We know that Lydia in the early church mentioned in the book of
Acts was a rich business woman selling purple clothing. Research says that the
leadership style in a woman is unique that is not found in a man’s. Man’s leadership
which is called the “Alpha” is more of a “command and control’ type, whereas
women’s is a “Beta” leadership which is a “planned and interactive” style. We
need to know that we are called to work hard and keep ourselves busy both in
and out of the domain of our house just like our men.
5.
Our good woman was a PRACTICAL WOMAN
She
brings food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food
for her family and portions for her servant girls. When it snows, she has no
fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She opens her arms to the
poor and extends her hands to the needy. Dorcas like the Proverbs 31 woman had
a sewing unit at home specially catering to the widows in her community. Charity
begins at home. Because of our ideal woman, her husband lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. This is very IMPORTANT!
We need to aware of belittling statements of our spouses and their families.
Let
us think practical before we conclude. I would say that we fall short of the
ideal lady of Proverbs 31 because we struggle in our relationships realm. It has
been my hardest job to maintain a good relationship between members of my own
family and others who we are in touch with me. I am learning. We cannot change
others. Only God can. But we can change our mind set in many different ways. Look
at Leah’s life. She was never successful in getting her husband’s love. It took
time for her to understand the fact of what eventually can happen and what would
not happen in this mortal world. Her focus changed to please and thank God instead
of striving hard to be a husband-pleaser only after the birth of Judah. After
many unsuccessful attempts and wrong calculations of how begetting many
children did not bring any change in winning her husband’s love, she finally
named Judah, “This time I’ll praise the Lord.” In the naming of children after
Judah we find how her attitude to life changed. She then started to say, “How
happy I am…and how blessed I am!” She slowly realized that she had something
which Rachel did not have. Rachel had beauty but she had babies born without
struggle. Leah will also be the happiest person in heaven knowing that she is
the great grand mom of Jesus.
An ideal woman status is not that easy. But
it is possible over time when our attitude to life changes. Let us try doing our
best following God’s words and leave the rest to God. God bless us womenfolk J
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